Like I said, I thought you’d be relieved.
I am. I mean, I would be, if they offered it to you.
Stupid idiots in denial about their love.
gif not mine
What I love most is that this is a smart ass joke said with a completely straight face but she gives him THAT face in reply and it DOESN’T EVEN CHANGE.
so basically um im horny
do you know what these all say?
"hi horny im dad"
One of the first things they ask you in the ER is to rate your pain on a scale from 1 to 10. I’ve been asked this question hundreds of times and I remember once, when I couldn’t catch my breath and I felt like my chest was on fire, the nurse asked me to rate the pain. Though I couldn’t speak, I held up 9 fingers. Later, when I started feeling better, the nurse came in and she called me a fighter. “You know how I know?” she said, “You called a 10 a 9.” But that wasn’t the truth.
I didn’t call it a 9 because I was brave. The reason I called it a 9 was because I was saving my 10…and this was it.